January Days

I promised to myself that I'm gonna get this shit off my chest. It started last December, I did my best to find a way so I can visit my girl at our province where she is working as a nurse. I got in to trouble, I was involved in a fight and I made that as a reason so I can request a leave of absence from work so I can go home to our province. I can request a schedule adjustment if I wanted to but I decided to choose the leave of absence even without pay so I can just visit my girl in our province. A fucking effort just to show how much I missed her.

We were cool that time, no problem and still loving each other. Before I left, she told me that she wanted me to be with her on Christmas day and on New Year's day which was impossible at that time because of hectic schedule at work. To fulfill her wishes I made sacrifice just to be with her. Until it was Christmas and something was wrong. Days have passed until New Year, our twenty months relationship was going nowhere. The worst Christmas ever!

We had an argument and it came to the point that she honestly told me that she doesn't feel the same way for me anymore. Of course I asked why and she was blaming me because of my attitude and I haven't done anything for the past few months. She kept on blaming shit about lack of communication, that I have no time for her and whatever reason she had. But I always had time with her. Yes I admit it's not that much of a time but it's because I have work. I can't give my time 24/7 for her if you know what I mean. The thing is, she's the one that changed and dumped me for whatever bullshit and tries to put the blame on me.

Then January, this is the way how you left me. No love, no hope. I'm not even pretending that I'm okay. Some people even thought I wasn't affected of our breakup coz of the way how I reacted. Do you remember the line "It hurts but I never show, this pain you'll never know"? That's just the way I am right now. That's how I feel right now. I know you already have someone coz it wont be that easy for you to move on if there isn't. Go ahead and deny it. Keep on playing and let everyone think that you're such a nice girl that you are. After all that we've been through, you left me with a broken heart. If you only knew the shit I've been through, I almost lost everything because of you. Thanks to some of my friends who had been there for me, I somehow managed to survive. Thank you for almost ruining my life. Nice to know you, GOODBYE.

That's it. Those were my January days. Its not that I'm bitter, I'm just wanna get this shit off my chest before moving on for real. I don't give a fuck if people wanna laugh at me coz I'm being such an emotional guy. It was just some shit I've been through and I wrote it all out. Well, I'm up now, its your loss and it'd suck to be you. I'm moving on so don't worry about me, I'll be fine without you, you'll see.