Wreck...

20110219

Space Bound

I can relate to the story of this song.

Space Bound
By Eminem

We touch, I feel a rush, we clutch, it isn't much
But it's enough to make me wonder what's in store for us
It's lust, it's torturous, you must be a sorcerous
Cause you just, did the impossible, gained my trust
Don't play games it'll be dangerous if you fuck me over
Cause if I get burnt, I'ma show ya what it's like to hurt
Cause I've been treated like dirt befo' ya
And love is "evol", spell it backwards, I'll show ya

Nobody knows me, I'm cold, walk down this road all alone
It's no one's fault but my own, it's the path I've chosen to go
Frozen as snow, I show no emotion what'so ever, so
Don't ask me why I have no love for these mo'fuckin' hoes
Blood-suckin' succubuses, what the fuck is up with this?
I've tried in this department, but, I ain't had no luck with this
It sucks but it's exactly what I thought it would be like tryin' to start over
I've got a hole in my heart from some kind of emotional roller-coasta';
Somethin' I won't go on till you toy with my emotions, so it's over
It's like an explosion every time I hold ya, wasn't jokin' when I told ya
You take my breath away, you're a supernova
And I'm a...

I'm a space-bound rocketship and your heart's the moon
And I'm aimin' right at you
Right at you
250, 000 miles on a clear night in June
And I'm aimin' right at you
Right at you
Right at you

I'll do whatever it takes, when I'm with you, I get the shakes
My body aches when I ain't with you, I have zero strength
There's no limit on how far I would go, no boundaries, no lengths
Why do we say that until we get that person that we think's
Gonna be that one and then once we get 'em, it's never the same
You want 'em when they don't want you, soon as they do, feelin's change
It's not a contest and I ain't on no conquest for no mate
I wasn't lookin' when I stumbled onto you, musta been fate
But so much is at stake, what the fuck does it take, let's cut to the chase
'Fore the door shuts in your face, promise me if I cave in and break
And leave myself open that I won't be makin' a mistake
Coz I'm a

I'm a space-bound rocketship and your heart's the moon
And I'm aimin' right at you
Right at you
250, 000 miles on a clear night in June
And I'm aimin' right at you
Right at you
Right at you

So after a year and 6 months, it's no longer me that you want
But I love you so much it hurts, never mistreated you once
I poured my heart out to you, let down my guard, swear to God
I'll blow my brains in your lap, lay here and die in your arms
Drop to my knees and I'm pleadin', I'm tryin' to stop you from leavin'
You won't even listen, so fuck it, I'm tryin' to stop you from breathin'
I put both hands on your throat, I sit on top of you, squeezin'
Til' I snap your neck like a Popsicle stick, ain't a possible reason
I can think of to let you walk up out this house and let you live
Tears stream down both of my cheeks, then I let you go and just give
And before I put that gun to my temple, I told you this

And I would've did anything for you
To show you how much I adored you
But it's over now, it's too late to save our
Love
Just promise me you'll think of me
Every time you look up in the sky and see a star
Coz I'm a

I'm a space-bound rocketship and your heart's the moon
And I'm aimin' right at you
Right at you
250, 000 miles and a clear night in June
And I'm so lost without you
Without you
Without you

20110215

January Days


I promised to myself that I'm gonna get this shit off my chest. It started last December, I did my best to find a way so I can visit my girl at our province where she is working as a nurse. I got in to trouble, I was involved in a fight and I made that as a reason so I can request a leave of absence from work so I can go home to our province. I can request a schedule adjustment if I wanted to but I decided to choose the leave of absence even without pay so I can just visit my girl in our province. A fucking effort just to show how much I missed her.

We were cool that time, no problem and still loving each other. Before I left, she told me that she wanted me to be with her on Christmas day and on New Year's day which was impossible at that time because of hectic schedule at work. To fulfill her wishes I made sacrifice just to be with her. Until it was Christmas and something was wrong. Days have passed until New Year, our twenty months relationship was going nowhere. The worst Christmas ever!

We had an argument and it came to the point that she honestly told me that she doesn't feel the same way for me anymore. Of course I asked why and she was blaming me because of my attitude and I haven't done anything for the past few months. She kept on blaming shit about lack of communication, that I have no time for her and whatever reason she had. But I always had time with her. Yes I admit it's not that much of a time but it's because I have work. I can't give my time 24/7 for her if you know what I mean. The thing is, she's the one that changed and dumped me for whatever bullshit and tries to put the blame on me.

Then January, this is the way how you left me. No love, no hope. I'm not even pretending that I'm okay. Some people even thought I wasn't affected of our breakup coz of the way how I reacted. Do you remember the line "It hurts but I never show, this pain you'll never know"? That's just the way I am right now. That's how I feel right now. I know you already have someone coz it wont be that easy for you to move on if there isn't. Go ahead and deny it. Keep on playing and let everyone think that you're such a nice girl that you are. After all that we've been through, you left me with a broken heart. If you only knew the shit I've been through, I almost lost everything because of you. Thanks to some of my friends who had been there for me, I somehow managed to survive. Thank you for almost ruining my life. Nice to know you, GOODBYE.

That's it. Those were my January days. Its not that I'm bitter, I'm just wanna get this shit off my chest before moving on for real. I don't give a fuck if people wanna laugh at me coz I'm being such an emotional guy. It was just some shit I've been through and I wrote it all out. Well, I'm up now, its your loss and it'd suck to be you. I'm moving on so don't worry about me, I'll be fine without you, you'll see.

20110203

Kung Hei Fat Choi

This is my first blog for 2011. Actually, there's a reason behind it. Today is the day my new year starts. I hope 2011 will be my happy, lucky, and special year. I had so many ups and downs last 2010 and I'm leaving it all behind.

Some things I've been through are memorable and some are forgettable. I would like to thank my ex-girlfriend for all the good times we had together and I also would like to apologize for the bad times we had together. Well, as you can see we are now even after what happened this past few weeks, especially last Christmas until New Year which I consider the worst ever. That was my love story of 2010.

Professionally, I attempted so many times looking for a new job but I always ended up staying at my current company coz of one main reason. I tried to resign from work last January but I can't coz of that same reason. I was not able to focus on work last January as well coz of some personal reason, and I'll call it my "January Days."

Now its Year of the Rabbit and I'm ready to leave it all behind. I'll just enjoy my life and live it to the fullest. I'll focus on work for now and keep myself busy. I'll study and study and study for the success of my career and of course, I'LL PARTY. GOOD VIBES 2011.

Kung Hei Fat Choi!